COAX VS. GARDENHOSE: WHY SOME HAMS STILL WATER THEIR SIGNALS

Ah, coax — the magical black hose that supposedly carries your RF like water to the roses. Some operators treat it exactly like a gardenhose: shorter is always better, leaks are “just character,” and kinks don’t matter as long as water (or RF) still comes out the end.

The Choke Myth Cult

“Chokes? That’s just snake oil.” Right, because Maxwell’s equations are clearly optional in your backyard. Why bother stopping common-mode currents when you can just let your coax spray RF like a busted sprinkler all over the shack? Bonus points if the mic squeals every time you transmit — free reverb!

Coax Length Doesn’t Matter (Until It Does)

Another classic: “Coax length doesn’t matter.” Of course not — it’s just a cable, right? Except when that “just a cable” is an impedance transformer that shifts your SWR into the Twilight Zone. But sure, cut it at random, wrap it like Christmas lights, and then post on QRZ asking why your tuner catches fire.

Bonus Myths from the Garden Shed

• All coax is the same — RG-58, LMR-400, washing machine hose… who can tell the difference? If water drips out the end, it must be working.
• Connectors don’t matter — cheap pot-metal PL-259s are basically “universal adaptors.” Solder optional, chewing gum acceptable.
• No need to weatherproof — let the rain in, it keeps the coax “hydrated.” Bonus: free green copper patina for that vintage vibe.
• Bends don’t matter — coil it tight, knot it up, run it under the lawnmower. RF is magic water — it’ll find a way.
• Bury it shallow — drop it under the flower bed. Roots, shovels, and dogs all understand RF safety, right?
• Velocity factor is marketing — rulers and guesswork are good enough. Quarter-wave stubs work best when measured with optimism.
• 50 ohms is sacred — coax will magically bend the laws of impedance to your will. Your tuner is basically a priest blessing the hose.

Pro Tips from the Garden

• Need better DX? Just add 10 more meters of hose. Longer hoses always make plants grow faster, so your signal will too.
• Still no luck? Skip the choke. Maxwell was a gardener anyway, not an engineer.
• If sparks jump from your PL-259 when it rains, don’t worry — that’s just your antenna “watering” the neighborhood.

Bottom line: If you treat coax like a gardenhose, don’t be surprised when your shack looks like a water park and your neighbors wonder why their TV only shows your call sign in glorious RFI.