SWR Derangement Syndrome
In the vast jungle of HF radio, there lurks a disease far more contagious than the common cold, far more debilitating than a blown tube—and far more ridiculous than QRP on 160 m. It’s called SWR Derangement Syndrome (SDS), and its victims can be identified by trembling hands, dilated pupils, and the permanent indentation of an SWR meter in their shack desk.
The Patient Zero Story
Legend has it the first case was spotted in 1959: a ham who refused to transmit because his meter read 1.2:1 instead of 1.1:1. Neighbors reported midnight howls and flashlight-driven dipole surgery, trimming half-millimeter slivers while muttering incantations to the SWR gods.
Today, SDS has gone global. Entire clubs have fallen. Some ops haven’t made a QSO in years—too busy polishing their Bird meter window and whispering, “Must… reach… perfect… 1:1…”
Symptoms
- Obsessive Meter-Gazing: 90% shack time staring at the needle; 10% inventing reasons not to call CQ.
- Folklore Recitation: “Anything over 1.5 will blow your finals,” “Coax loss cancels bad SWR,” etc.
- Trim Mania: Ritual 3 mm snips, expecting enlightenment with each cut.
- Weather Paranoia: Dew, humidity, and the neighbor’s cat blamed for ±0.05 wiggles.
- Social Withdrawal: Misses DX because the tape measure (in microns) needed re-zeroing.
Diagnosis
Present patient with a well-behaved antenna measuring 1.7:1. If they pace, sweat, and start digging a trench to bury 20 m more coax before transmitting—case confirmed.
The Cure
- Step 1: Unplug the SWR meter. Breathe. The bands still exist.
- Step 2: Daily mantra: “1.5 is fine. 2 is survivable. 3 won’t kill me. 6 needs a look. 10 means I built an Isotron.”
- Step 3: Make a QSO. Log it. Notice nobody asked your SWR.
Final prescription: install your antenna, call CQ, and discard the folklore. Your finals (and blood pressure) will thank you.