📻 The Gospel According to Professor Wattson

How One Ham Discovered That Accuracy Is Optional If It Reads Well

Meet Professor Wattson — veteran operator, columnist, and proud defender of “readability over rigor.” He’s been writing since rigs glowed in the dark, and he’s convinced that clarity matters more than correctness. “Keep it light,” he says. “No one wants algebra before breakfast.”

The Case of the Vanishing Signal

One evening, a younger ham wrote to him with a question:

“Professor, doesn’t adding that resistor across the input halve the signal?”

Wattson smiled knowingly — the calm smile of a man who’s already decided not to change his mind. He leaned back, took a sip of tea, and replied:

“Perhaps in theory, yes… but readers won’t feel the loss.”

And just like that, physics quietly left the room while narrative pacing took the lead.

The Longevity Principle

When cornered by math, Wattson invokes his favorite constant: time. “I’ve been explaining these things for years,” he says, as if the calendar itself grants scientific authority. Experience becomes armor. Equations ricochet harmlessly off the decades. It’s not arrogance — just a comforting illusion that wisdom grows automatically, like mold on an old datasheet.

The Beginner Protection Program

Wattson considers himself a kind of guardian angel for newcomers. His creed: shield the innocent from complexity.

“Too much detail drives people away,” he insists. “They don’t need the physics — just the feeling.”

So instead of explaining current nodes or impedance curves, he offers soothing parables: “Antennas sing best when you let them breathe.” It sounds lovely. It also explains absolutely nothing.

The Poll of Truth

To measure success, Wattson doesn’t use instruments — he checks how many people “liked” his last article. Why rely on a VNA when popularity already provides all the proof you need?

His new philosophy of measurement: if it gets applause, it must be correct. And if it doesn’t, well… the audience simply isn’t ready for it yet.

The Art of Elegant Error

Over the years, Wattson perfected the noble craft of being wrong beautifully. Reactance became “mood.” Inductors became “helpers.” And every physical law that got in the way of readability was politely rephrased as “practical simplification.” He no longer wrote to illuminate — he wrote to reassure. And reassurance, as it turns out, sells better than resonance.

Epilogue — Comfort Over Clarity

Professor Wattson isn’t the villain. He loves radio, and he wants others to love it too. But in making the airwaves “easier to understand,” he forgot the most important part: understanding is supposed to take effort.

Simplifying is noble; falsifying is not. Because in the end, the ionosphere doesn’t care about readability — it only cares about whether your signal makes sense when it lands.

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