The Gospel According to Professor Wattson – Part II

The Editor’s Clause: Infallibility by Signature

Professor Wattson had survived many storms: impedance debates, standing-wave heresies, and the great matching-network schism of ’09. But nothing shook him quite like this new menace — the proofreader.

The Sacred Handwriting

When the editorial board suggested that a few of Wattson’s technical claims might benefit from revision, he nodded politely and sharpened his quill. Then he declared, with the calm of a man defending an empire:

“Spelling is fine. Grammar too. But thou shalt not alter the sacred essence of my words.”

For what is an article, if not a reflection of the author’s immortal soul — complete with its typos, half-truths, and impedance mismatches?

Changing a sentence, he argued, would be like repainting the Mona Lisa because you didn’t like her smile.

The Signature Doctrine

To Wattson, the author’s signature wasn’t a courtesy. It was a warranty of infallibility.

“My name is under it,” he said. “Therefore, it must be right.”

Logic trembled. Physics face-palmed. The red pen broke in despair.

The 90% Rule

Wattson prided himself on “writing for the 90%.” He’d remind the editors:

“Most readers are basic technicians. They don’t need the extra details.”

The remaining 10% — the ones who might notice that his circuit violated Ohm’s Law — were politely invited to skip the paragraph. It was a democratic approach to truth: majority rule by ignorance.

The Invisible Curriculum

When Wattson said he stayed “within the limits of the national syllabus,” he meant it literally. Reality beyond that boundary was an optional module.

If the laws of electromagnetism wandered outside the exam scope, he simply omitted them — not out of malice, but mercy. After all, it’s hard to confuse readers with details you never mention.

The Leap of Faith

“Of course,” said Wattson, “if a reader skips the paragraph, the paragraph has failed.” And yet, paradoxically, his paragraphs were designed to be skippable — soft, round, and perfectly frictionless.

No equations to stumble over. No facts to trip on. Just a smooth, narrative surface of agreeable half-truths. It was writing so safe it could pass a crash test.

Epilogue — The Church of the Untouched Draft

To this day, Professor Wattson continues his mission: crafting prose that needs no correction, because it refuses all.

“Correct my commas, not my concepts.”

The editors still whisper his name when a manuscript resists editing. And somewhere in the dim glow of his shack, under a halo of coffee steam and nostalgia, Wattson smiles — untouched, unedited, and unmeasured.

For in his universe, understanding ends where the author’s signature begins.

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